From A Hospice Vet: Rituals and Personalizations for Home Euthanasia
The anticipation and act of losing a beloved pet is one of the most difficult and heartbreaking human experiences that we as pet parents must endure. In my practice, we are privileged to work with families to help them plan and create the peaceful and gentle euthanasia experience that they wish for their pet, all within the familiar space of the home. When families choose home euthanasia, they are able to tailor the experience to their individual preferences in order to reduce some of the stress and enhance comfort for all involved. We have compiled a list of ideas and real-life scenarios that may help you in planning your own home visit.
The Setting:
With home euthanasia, you as the pet parent get to create the most meaningful setting for your pet. Common comfortable locations include the family room or kitchen area. You may choose a favorite cozy chair, couch, or rug. Some families get even more creative based on their pet’s preferences. I have gone under the kitchen table more than once when that was a pet’s choice spot. For cats, a favorite windowsill or vantage point from the cat tree may come to mind. Some pets have a preferred location out in the yard that may be chosen. I once attended a euthanasia out in a snowy field next to a bonfire as this was the pet’s favorite thing to do! A nearby special park or quiet beach could also be a consideration as an option for a special goodbye. Your pet can remain right in your lap for the duration of the visit, never leaving your arms if you wish. Alternatively, even in the home setting, we would never pass judgment should you choose to leave the room during the most difficult moments.
The Sounds:
In a busy clinic setting, one would typically hear talking, barking, and the hustle and bustle behind the exam room door (*Note: some clinics have made a special effort to provide a quiet, less clinical room for euthanasia visits). Home euthanasia affords selection of sounds and background noise to infuse additional comfort into an inherently stressful moment. Music is one such example of this. You may have a general playlist going or may even have deliberate music selections cued up. I once had a family member, who could not be present in person, sing a song over Facetime which was incredibly moving. You may choose to have the TV on if this was always a part of your pet’s daily background noise and a comfort to them. Family may wish to deliver a reading or two such as with a special poem, passage from a book, or letter that they have written to their pet. I have had families ask me to read letters aloud which made the connection in the room even deeper. Lastly, many families choose silence and quiet reflection during the goodbye and this is certainly an option as well.
The Scents:
To further personalize the setting, some pet parents will choose to burn candles or incense. Essential oils may be used to help provide further sense of calm and ritual to the visit. Placing fragrant flowers around a beloved pet is yet another act that may help to provide both olfactory and visual comfort.
The Food:
If a pet’s appetite is still intact, food can provide another opportunity to enhance meaning and reduce inherent stress during difficult moments. The sky is the limit as far as food choices are concerned! You may give your pet a greasy cheeseburger, steak, chocolate cake, pizza, or a candy bar just to name a few options. It truly warms my heart to walk into a visit and see a pup, too sick to leave their bed, smooshing their face into a bowl of ice cream.
The Touches:
If your pet has a favorite blanket, pillow, shirt, or toy, you may certainly have those items with them during the visit. More than once, I have seen pet parents bring out their pet’s adoption blanket which has come full circle through the pet’s journey with the family. When I think about touches or tangible items during a home visit, I also think about paw impressions. The creation of keepsakes is yet one more way to personalize and memorialize your pet. There are a variety of paw impression options including clay, foam, ink, and digital options. Some pet parents elect to clip a lock of their pet’s fur to keep as well. You may create these items on your own or your housecall veterinarian may provide options for you.
Saying goodbye at home provides many opportunities for personalization and celebration of your pet’s life. When possible, we encourage planning ahead and consideration for all the ways in which you would like this part of your pet’s journey to be experienced. Although there is nothing we can do to take away the pain of losing your pet, we can help to make a horrendous day just a bit less horrendous for you, and much less stressful for your pet. The biggest benefit of saying goodbye at home is that your best friend gets to experience all of the familiar surroundings, sounds, and love found within your home as they drift off into a deep sleep and gentle passing. As with any great story, the ending is the most important part.
